A picture is worth a thousand looks

How many of you have walked down the street, looked up at a billboard of a good looking guy/girl/creature, whatever, and let out a nice loud “daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, how come I cant find any guys/girls/creatures like that around here?” Well, say hello to the answer my little friends, you can’t, and if you do, after you meet her, go buy a lottery ticket because chances are you’ll win.

Wider eyes, thinner hips, bigger breasts, darker skin, bigger muscles, the list goes on and on of features of the human body that can be manipulated in pictures to turn heads when people look at them. Like literally turn heads, like some serious exorcist sh*t.

One instance in particular involved everybody’s favorite grandma Madonna in a December, 1990 edition of Glamour magazine. The picture of her on the front cover was actually so manipulated, that she herself didn’t even want the picture to be on there anymore. The photographer had actually bleached the picture to make Madonna’s skin seem whiter, as well (oh my god), he removed that giant gap that everybody loved so much between her teeth. Ouch Mr. Photographer, you really know how to bring somebody’s self-esteem down, I hope your kid is born with a huge gap between his toes. Good luck finding their shoe size because the stores AREN'T GOING TO HAVE IT! MUAHAHAHA.

Another example of the wondrous photo manipulation of our era came at a time when one man had the world standing on their tippy toes.

OJ Simpson, a once famous football player is accused of murdering his wife and her other lover in his home. An issue of Newsweek hits the shelves with Simpson’s mug shot on the cover. An issue of TIME magazine is then issued with the same picture of Simpson’s mug shot, but heavily manipulated to make the picture look more dark and scary. People started asking, and nobody really had an answer, that is until TIME Magazine’s editor James Gaines said “The harshness of the mug shot – the merciless bright light, the stubble on Simpson’s face, the cold specificity of the picture- had been subtly smoothed and shaped into an icon or tragedy. The expression on his face was not merely blank now; it was bottomless. This cover, with the simple, nonjudgmental headline “An American Tragedy”, seemed the obvious, right choice.” Okay, yes, maybe in some eyes was the OJ trial an American tragedy, but did you have to make him look like the black grim reaper? Or maybe that was the point. Like look at this face below.

I do not think that TIME was being racist or insensitive, but more trying to create a darker outlook around Simpson due to the trial that was taking place. It almost seems like TIME was taking sides. It almost seems like TIME wanted Simpson to suffer. And to put an American Tragedy under that photo is like putting an American Tragedy under the photo of a tag that was ripped off a mattress. Are we forgetting about Pearl Harbor, or the assassination of JFK, those are American Tragedies, not a simple misunderstood murder.

These are only two occurrences of the hundreds that people see everyday. Next time you look at a photo, and say daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, because that blonde bombshell or buzz cut hunk could be your best friend’s 70 year old grandparent.

Netzkobold. Billboard. 15 Jan. 2008. . http://www.netzkobold.com/uploads/pictures/blush_big.jpg

I.N. OJ. 15 Jan. 2008. . http://i.n.com.com/i/ne/p/2006/oj_480x318.jpg

MICHELLE. Madonna. 15 Jan. 2008. . http://michelleruth.blogspot.com/2008_01_01_archive.html