Sunday, January 13, 2008

Britney Fitney

Alright, so lets juts be honest and get this out of the way now. Britney Spears' performance at the VMA's was a monstrosity, most people will agree. What I don't get are the people that are saying how much weight she’s gained, and how "unfit" she has become. Are we forgetting that she just had two kids? Are we forgetting that after having two kids, your body mass increases slightly? I guess the critics have never felt the amazing pleasure of having something the size of a watermelon come out a hole the size of (insert Britney vagina joke here).

Britney Spears is not FAT. She isn't even chubby. I don't see where people could have gotten the idea that she is bigger than a bloated hippo. Oh wait, I know, people love to see people of high status crash, burn, get up, crash, and burn even harder! That’s sick!
But it's not like us, the people, have done this to her all by ourselves. She is more responsible than any of us put together. All of that partying, and random sightings while totally manged out on multiple drugs and alcohol, shaving her own head bald. It almost seems like being out of the lime-light for so long gives her a reason to cry for attention. Move over Lindsey, or at least hand her a rehab pamphlet, you need to clean out your purse anyways.

There is no doubt that Britney has gone through a lot over the course of her lifetime, basically molded from day 1 into this superhuman that lives a non stop stage life. It was only a matter of time until her roller coaster came to an end, or I guess you could say fell off the tracks. Everybody likes change, that’s why top of the line artists like rival Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake are still alive and kicking, constantly changing their style on, and off of the stage. Maybe Spears needs to spend a little less time killing her own children (which she lost), and a little more time bringing her life back around, cause the way she’s looking, suicide isn’t a much further travel.

Nevertheless, she did come out with a new album late 2007 which was said to be the best album she has ever written, so props for that, god bless and please tell your sister to stop following in your footsteps, we don’t need another crossroads on the silver screen.



PJ Lighthouse . Bald Britany. 13 Jan. 2008. . http://www.pjlighthouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/britney_spears_shaving-hair-bald.jpg

California Rumor. Britany Performance. 13 Jan. 2008. . http://www.californiarumor.com/files/images/import/Britney%20Spears%20mtv%20performance.jpg

1 comment:

Rachel said...

I've read a couple of your articles now Michael, you have such a sweet writing style. It's funny, yet informative. I enjoy it.
Anyways, I agree with you about this for the most part. Britney has gone and taking a dive into the shallow end of the pool; never a good thing to do. It's a shame that she's on so many drugs, because her album is such a hit, she could be making millions right now.
I don't think that Britney hasn't tried the whole "change" thing. I mean, she tried acting (as horrible as that was) and her music has changed slightly over the years. Maybe it was just the pressure of being in the limelight since she was young, and then not having that as much. I think that would cause a lot of damage to her pretty little head.