I got 99 Problems, but a blog aint one!

What show are you watching right now? (I’m watching American Idol, and I am laughing my bum off, HAHAHAH) What is it about? Why is it on this channel? What ethnic groups are in it? Does that group dominate the whole show? If you can answer questions like these my super friends then you, yes you, are some what media literate, which is a good thing of course, your friends won’t make fun of you, if they do, send them to Mr. Puley at Orchard Park Secondary School in Stoney Creek Ontario, Canada, he’ll set them straight.

You may not think so, but knowing what you’re watching, and why you’re watching it, can actually make, or break that show for the viewer. Good, probably the best examples are music videos, especially those of the hip-hop a hippy a hippa to the hip hip hop and you don’t stop dropping to the bang bang boogie badum drop the boogie to the boogy du the boogie da be… Yeah! Hip-Hop! Just look in Jay-Z’s video for 99 Problems.

Before the video even starts, you’ve got an advisory warning, which tells you how harsh some of the scenes are in the video are (which you do not see in this particular music video, due to it being from YouTube, somebody probably edited out, and explicit lyrics so, earmuffs if you have to!). So the video starts off, Jay walking in the ghetto (symbolizing his childhood), seeing a young teen putting on a ski-mask (symbolizing criminal behaviour) walking past kids jumping on mattresses on the street for fun (symbolizing the lack of money), seeing prostitutes washing cars, as well as themselves wearing bikini’s while guys watch them (symbolizing womanizing) and at the end of it all, a few men jump out of the car and lay 6 or 7 bullets into his chest (symbolizing the violent street behavior). Now, what Jay-Z was trying to do was glorify the “hood” and give people a sense of what its like to live there, but honestly, in my personal opinion and I think some of my super friends will back me up on this one. That video is one of the most horrifying things I have ever witnessed, and then some. We as people, do not need to have that shoved in our faces, we don’t need a tour of the ghetto Jay. Prostitutes and people getting killed, that is shown enough in the movies, there is no need for that to be in a music video. Especially when that music video plays 10 times a day, how do you think that makes children feel when they see that for the first time? DESPICABLE JAY… Just despicable.

On the brighter side of things, blogging is taking over the world as we know it. Famous bloggers such as Parez Hilton are giving people the scoop on Hollywood in his personal perspective, which apparently is quite hilarious. I’ve taken a look on Parez’s site and I was pretty impressed, the way he is able to interact with his audience, providing humor, but not to much to make whatever he’s writing about sound like a big joke. But the way he is able to write with such precision is the real key to his success, and that is what I think defines successful blogging.

Parez is of course considered a “grade A blogger” but what does it take to get there Mike, you silly little man. Well people, it takes a few things like knowing where to start, like starting a free blog site at first, to practice your skills, see if people are interested in what you have to say. Updating daily, you never want people reading the same article for a week, you have to keep it fresh. Listen to your audience, if they have something to say, listen, it could help you in the long run. Last but not least, keep your articles short, and concise, nobody wants to read a thousand page story on K-Fed, try to put all of your information that you want people to know at the beginning. And there you have it, you are now a professional blogger, seems pretty easy, doesn’t it?

Now, there are some advantages and disadvantages so, bare with me. Some advantages of the almighty blog are that they are cheap and easy to run, blogs convey authority, its open, and gives feedback good and bad, which everybody loves of course. Some of the disadvantages of blogs are that most people do not have very much to say that is to any interest to anybody, people who have the most time to write have the least to say, and finally blogs are very easy to start up, but difficult to maintain.

Some of the typical stories that bloggers write on are about celebrities, and (if your lucky) actual NEWS! If a blogger can produce a good news story, then he might be able to achieve a minimal status, and somewhat of a successful blogging career (if they can maintain stories like that one) which is very difficult to do, that’s why you do (because lets be honest, a good world event to write on has less of a chance of occurring than me not eating a burrito every Tuesday night, and that’s likely so, do the math J) not hear about bloggers that talk about world peace, because unfortunately, people are interested in that at all. But, if you can be an overweight, multicolored hair, high pitched voice, white boy (WITH A SPANISH NAME-only using this as an example by the way, Parez Hilton if you are not to sure of whom I am talking about) and can write about celebrities like you can inhale and exhale, than chances are you will become a success story, people will look to you for guidance when celebrities do things without the peoples knowledge. That is why (I hate to say it) Parez Hilton is one of the most loved people in the North America today.

Blog write for ecos. Disadvantages. 15 Jan. 2008. . http://www.blogwriteforceos.com/blogwrite/2005/01/blogs_are_just_.html

Tom rafter yit. Advantages. 15 Jan. 2008. . http://www.tomrafteryit.net/the-advantages-of-blogging-for-business/

Ez INE Articles. Successful Blogging. 15 Jan. 2008. . http://ezinearticles.com/?13-Steps-to-Successful-Blogging&id=44258

Reconstruction EServer. Keyboard. 16 Jan. 2008. . http://reconstruction.eserver.org/064/images/blogcover1.jpg

Please don't stop the music!

Kill em’all, Powerage, and Black Sabbath’s self titled album (just to name a few) are said to be some of the greatest albums of all time. Even today, the fans of these old 80’s metal bands (Metallica, AC/DC, Black Sabbath) can’t seem to move on, and continue to support the sweaty 5 man guitar solo's.

But lets be honest, teens today don’t really know that genre of music very well, because they didn’t grow up (maybe they did, with that long blonde haired father, yeah, you know what I’m talking about) with the raving mad crowds lining up for blocks just to buy a new Metallica album. But thankfully, that can all change.

80’s sounding music is making its comeback with bands such as Wolfmother, and Velvet Revolver (which is made up of some of the members of a very popular 80’s band Guns and Roses) taking their stand to not let the 80’s die.

In an interview with www.gothamist.com, lead guitarist/vocalist of Wolfmother, Myles Heskett, was asked the question, “There's a list of comparisons that often comes when someone writes about your band...Led Zep, Styxx, White Stripes, Black Sabbath...who do you count as influences?” If you are a band such as Wolfmother, trying to bring back the 80’s, and you hear a question like that, you know you’ve accomplished everything you have been striving for. That is quite a treat.

I do believe that the world will be seeing more and more bands bringing back the good times and rocking out with the 80’s tuned guitar, so don’t feel bad for your parents not having you a few years earlier, your not going to be missing to much!

Rock on baby.

Gothamist. Wolfmother Interview. 15 Jan. 2008. . http://gothamist.com/2006/06/02/gothamist_band_19.php

Hey Hey, You You, You're a Freakin' Copy Cat!

Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated, for Avril?

Nappanee’s own punk-pop princess has been charged with copyright infringement with her hit single “Girlfriend.”

Now, apparently the song sounds almost identical to a song written by a 70’s boy-toy pop band, The Rubinoos, called, “I Want to Be Your Boyfriend.” Okay, so what, the titles are almost identical, that doesn’t mean anything, right? I mean, I’m sure it was just a coincidence. Until Tommy Dunbar, the writer of “I want To Be Your Boyfriend,” released a statement that said, “"We are not so naive as to chalk it up to some sort of cosmic coincidence," Dunbar said last week. “The lyric, the meter, the rhythm (of Girlfriend) — they're identical."

Alright so, identical song titles, identical lyrics, identical meter, identical rhythm. Um, Avril? Care to explain what the heck is going on here?

Avril responded to Tommy by saying, “All songs share similar lyrics and emotions,” she said. “Luke [Gottwald] and I have done nothing wrong and there is no merit to their claim.” Well, at least she said something to back herself up, even though it was after the fact of her “writing” her song, releasing her song, getting people to love her song, getting someone taking the two songs merging them together and putting it up on You Tube for millions of people to listen to. Yeah, bad timing comes into my head as well.

Speaking of her songs being merged with other songs and posted on You Tube, here are TWO, yes two more examples of her songs being oddly similar to others.

Static Taume. Avril. 15 Jan. 2008. . http://static.taume.com/image/2007-avril-lavigne.jpg

MY-FACE!

Oh you knew this was coming ladies and gents of cyber chat. The battle of battles, the war of wars, the people that know how to use HTML, and the people that don’t at all. Mark’s Facebook versus Tom’s MySpace. This is MYYFACEEEEEEEE ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Was that really needed? Was that necessary? Oh well you get the point. MYFACEEEEE!!

Lets start off with early 1999 when none of us even knew what websites were, (well, except Neopets, come on, anybody?) and MySpace was just an idea that was being passed around the table by Chris DeWolfe (MySpace's current CEO), Josh Berman, and Tom Anderson a.k.a that creepy first friend that never leaves you any comments L (MySpace's current president). These three were part of a company called eUniverse, (which in 2004 changed its name to Intermix Media) which held a contest, challenging the employees of eUniverse to see who could get the most to join this MySpace thing. I think we all know who won, the creep, and 300 million people later, Tom and his MySpace (not so much his anymore he sold it to some old geezer for 500 million dollars, not bad for a 31 year old suburban) are doing well and are standing tall and proud at the top of the internet universe. The website includes features such as blurbs, blogs, multimedia, profile customization, commenting, music, groups, MySpace TV, and MySpace mobile. So basically, MySpace carries your life in front of the triple double you dot.

Now for the prince (soon to be king, yes it will overtake MySpace thanks to all of those viruses, you know what I’m talking about people, the ones that made people delete your ass because that virus made you sound so annoying) of the internet cyber life websites, Facebook. This site was launched on February 4^th by former Harvard student Mark Zuckerburg. Originally, you had to be a student of Harvard to obtain a membership for Facebook (oh how that would have sucked). But of course, the website leaked to other colleges and universities around the US like MIT, and Boston College. Eventually, any student that had a college or university email was aloud to become a member. As of September 11, 2006 (go figure) anyone may join as long as they are 13 (12 year olds I am not encouraging that you lie about your age but, nobody will know, so take a chance) years of age or older. Facebook holds more than 60 million users. Its features include a lot of the same features as MySpace, but better in my opinion.

Now lets get to reality, MySpace was the place to be as of early 2005-mid 2006. Everybody was on it as an easy and efficient way to talk to your friends, comment photos, show people what you like, etc. Until one big nerd decided to hack Tom’s database and create a virus that virtually screwed everybody over in some way shape or form. That ladies and gentlemen was marked as one of the saddest days in history for the world. What were people going to do with no Tom to show them the way of life? DUM DUMDUMDUMMM Its Mark Zuckerburg to the rescue. As MySpace was becoming less and less popular with this “super virus”, Mark seen this as an opportunity to seize the world and introduce Facebook to the world, university or not, and it worked. Facebook is now more popular than ever, and is only going to keep growing. Myspace has finally gotten rid of that virus, but has fallen so far behind Facebook, that Tom dosen’t even know what to do. If you go on MySpace today, you will notice that it has a lot of the same features that they have taken from Facebook to try and make them their own. Sorry, isn’t working to well. I miss you Tom but, you need to take your 500 million and finally buy yourself a life.

Wikipedia. Facebook. 15 Jan. 2008. . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook

Wikipedia. Myspace. 15 Jan. 2008. . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myspace

Tigerbeer. MySpace Vs. Facebook. 15 Jan. 2008. . http://www.tigerbeer.co.uk/www/217/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/vs.jpg

A picture is worth a thousand looks

How many of you have walked down the street, looked up at a billboard of a good looking guy/girl/creature, whatever, and let out a nice loud “daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, how come I cant find any guys/girls/creatures like that around here?” Well, say hello to the answer my little friends, you can’t, and if you do, after you meet her, go buy a lottery ticket because chances are you’ll win.

Wider eyes, thinner hips, bigger breasts, darker skin, bigger muscles, the list goes on and on of features of the human body that can be manipulated in pictures to turn heads when people look at them. Like literally turn heads, like some serious exorcist sh*t.

One instance in particular involved everybody’s favorite grandma Madonna in a December, 1990 edition of Glamour magazine. The picture of her on the front cover was actually so manipulated, that she herself didn’t even want the picture to be on there anymore. The photographer had actually bleached the picture to make Madonna’s skin seem whiter, as well (oh my god), he removed that giant gap that everybody loved so much between her teeth. Ouch Mr. Photographer, you really know how to bring somebody’s self-esteem down, I hope your kid is born with a huge gap between his toes. Good luck finding their shoe size because the stores AREN'T GOING TO HAVE IT! MUAHAHAHA.

Another example of the wondrous photo manipulation of our era came at a time when one man had the world standing on their tippy toes.

OJ Simpson, a once famous football player is accused of murdering his wife and her other lover in his home. An issue of Newsweek hits the shelves with Simpson’s mug shot on the cover. An issue of TIME magazine is then issued with the same picture of Simpson’s mug shot, but heavily manipulated to make the picture look more dark and scary. People started asking, and nobody really had an answer, that is until TIME Magazine’s editor James Gaines said “The harshness of the mug shot – the merciless bright light, the stubble on Simpson’s face, the cold specificity of the picture- had been subtly smoothed and shaped into an icon or tragedy. The expression on his face was not merely blank now; it was bottomless. This cover, with the simple, nonjudgmental headline “An American Tragedy”, seemed the obvious, right choice.” Okay, yes, maybe in some eyes was the OJ trial an American tragedy, but did you have to make him look like the black grim reaper? Or maybe that was the point. Like look at this face below.

I do not think that TIME was being racist or insensitive, but more trying to create a darker outlook around Simpson due to the trial that was taking place. It almost seems like TIME was taking sides. It almost seems like TIME wanted Simpson to suffer. And to put an American Tragedy under that photo is like putting an American Tragedy under the photo of a tag that was ripped off a mattress. Are we forgetting about Pearl Harbor, or the assassination of JFK, those are American Tragedies, not a simple misunderstood murder.

These are only two occurrences of the hundreds that people see everyday. Next time you look at a photo, and say daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, because that blonde bombshell or buzz cut hunk could be your best friend’s 70 year old grandparent.

Netzkobold. Billboard. 15 Jan. 2008. . http://www.netzkobold.com/uploads/pictures/blush_big.jpg

I.N. OJ. 15 Jan. 2008. . http://i.n.com.com/i/ne/p/2006/oj_480x318.jpg

MICHELLE. Madonna. 15 Jan. 2008. . http://michelleruth.blogspot.com/2008_01_01_archive.html

Britney Fitney

Alright, so lets juts be honest and get this out of the way now. Britney Spears' performance at the VMA's was a monstrosity, most people will agree. What I don't get are the people that are saying how much weight she’s gained, and how "unfit" she has become. Are we forgetting that she just had two kids? Are we forgetting that after having two kids, your body mass increases slightly? I guess the critics have never felt the amazing pleasure of having something the size of a watermelon come out a hole the size of (insert Britney vagina joke here).

Britney Spears is not FAT. She isn't even chubby. I don't see where people could have gotten the idea that she is bigger than a bloated hippo. Oh wait, I know, people love to see people of high status crash, burn, get up, crash, and burn even harder! That’s sick!
But it's not like us, the people, have done this to her all by ourselves. She is more responsible than any of us put together. All of that partying, and random sightings while totally manged out on multiple drugs and alcohol, shaving her own head bald. It almost seems like being out of the lime-light for so long gives her a reason to cry for attention. Move over Lindsey, or at least hand her a rehab pamphlet, you need to clean out your purse anyways.

There is no doubt that Britney has gone through a lot over the course of her lifetime, basically molded from day 1 into this superhuman that lives a non stop stage life. It was only a matter of time until her roller coaster came to an end, or I guess you could say fell off the tracks. Everybody likes change, that’s why top of the line artists like rival Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake are still alive and kicking, constantly changing their style on, and off of the stage. Maybe Spears needs to spend a little less time killing her own children (which she lost), and a little more time bringing her life back around, cause the way she’s looking, suicide isn’t a much further travel.

Nevertheless, she did come out with a new album late 2007 which was said to be the best album she has ever written, so props for that, god bless and please tell your sister to stop following in your footsteps, we don’t need another crossroads on the silver screen.

PJ Lighthouse . Bald Britany. 13 Jan. 2008. . http://www.pjlighthouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/britney_spears_shaving-hair-bald.jpg

California Rumor. Britany Performance. 13 Jan. 2008. . http://www.californiarumor.com/files/images/import/Britney%20Spears%20mtv%20performance.jpg

The Plastic Diaries

New Boy is the creator of Fulla, the Arab version Barbie doll. Located in Syria Dubai as well Saudi Arabia, New Boy is the equivalence of Mattel in the Middle East.
The Fulla doll was created for young girls of an Arab and Middle Eastern country that was more focused towards their heritage and culture. Her body image, as well as clothing attire fits more of a Middle Eastern standard, unlike the Barbie which relates to more of a North American outlook. Not like Barbie is even aloud to be displayed in Saudi Arabia anyways, where that poor little Blondie has been banned for body image and “revealing” sense of style.
New Boy has sold 1.5 million Fulla dolls since 2003 which shows popularity growth. I personally believe that Fulla is a good idea for the culture over seas FOR NOW, though I do not agree with what the women have to go through just to be accepted in the Arab/Middle Eastern society, but, that’s for another day…
People have given Fulla great reviews over the past few years, "If this doll had come out 10 years ago, I don't think it would have been very popular," he said. "Fulla is part of this great cultural shift." says Maan Abdul Salam, a Syrian women's rights advocate.
Overall, I still do not agree with Barbie, Fulla, or even Fulah, the Chinese version of the Barbie doll, because I do not believe that girls should be influenced by dolls such as those at such a young age. They should not have to distance their selves from other cultures like that. Maybe it would be better to have every type of doll in every country, so other cultures can adapt with other cultures, maybe it will stir up some world peace.

NewYork Times. Fullah Barbie. 13 Jan. 2008. . http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/22/international/middleeast/22doll.html